The Lion Scat
by SMCDNA 8215
Summary: This story tells the twisted tale that revolves around Great Rock and a power struggle for the title of swag lord. I don't know how to accurately summarize this story.
1. Chapter 1

One day, there was a lion named Musafa. He ruled Great Rock and was somewhat benevolent. But then, Musafa's brother, Scat, killed him and ascended to the throne. Musafa's son, Thimba, was mercilessly chased down by Scat's hyenas. He ran and ran. Eventually, he met a meerkat named Teemone and a warthog named Pimba. They became friends because they told him the phrase Hakusa Mataya: Chill with a blunt. Thimba was happy with his newfound drug addiction. Then, Baka, his female childhood friend met him. When they recognized each other, she told him that he had to come back to Great Rock because nobody liked Scat. Thimba didn't want to, for he was content to spend the rest of his days without responsibility. Baka begged him to come back and said that she'd do anything. Thimba was still hesitant to go, so he went stargazing. He saw his father, Musafa, who told him these wise words: Go get some pussy. Thimba was confused. "But, how can I do that?" Musafa spoke more great truths: To get pussy, you must become a swag lord, and becoming a swag lord means you must take the throne. Thimba understood this accurate statement. He set out for Great Rock. When he meant Scat, they had a great battle, in which Thimba defeated Scat and shoved him off the cliff. Then, the wolves-er, I mean, hyenas came. They ate Scat. They ate Scat until there was none left. Thimba paid a visit to Baka, being the swag lord he now was. "Thimba? What are you doing here?" Thimba smiled. "Didn't you say you'd do anything?" And that's how 50 Shades of Furry was created. While Thimba was resting from his wild night, he was brutally stabbed to death by Teemone and Pimba. Just before he died, they said "Hakusa Mataya, cunt," and gave him one last blunt to smoke. Now, the swag lord lay where he died, still emanating a faint aura of swag. Now, it was time for a new age. An age of submission and oppression: The Lion Scat 1½: The Tyrannical Reign of Teemone and Pimba.

Secret after credits scene: A buffalo runs up to a tree with graffiti marks on it; One reading "The Pimp Master's Hangout. Stay the fuck out, bitch." The buffalo disregarded the warning, for what he had to say was of great importance. He found the Pimp Master, a sexy baboon, resting in his den. "Pimp Master! I bring urgent news! 2 aminals have murdered the rightful swag lord and have taken the throne for themselves. They seem to be worse than even Scat." The Pimp Master slowly inclined his head. «Can you read, bitch?» "Yes, but I just thought that you needed to-" The Pimp Master smashed in the buffalo's head with his bare hands. «Stupid bitch ass aminals. Can't even fucking read. Don't you think so?» The Pimp Master turns toward you and smiles.


	2. Chapter 1 and a half

The Lion Scat 1½: The Tyrannical Reign of Teemone and Pimba:

The swag lord was dead, murdered by Teemone and Pimba. Now, the new swag lords used their powers not for good, but for evil. They murdered, raped, looted, and pillaged. Most of the aminals of Great Rock lived in fear and became submissive. Then, amongst the aminals, there rose the Angsty Rebellion. Naturally, the leader of this organization was none other than Baka. Baka wanted to avenge her fallen 50 Shades of Furry lover. She had amassed an army of a few lions and a small amount of baboons. While their numbers were small, their power was great, for baboons were the ferocious warriors they were. For Teemone and Pimba's defenses, they had a large grouping of elephants and hyenas, known as the Royal Army. The two armies met each other in the field of battle. Baka led the charge, for she could never forgive Teemone and Pimba. She fought fiercely, slaying many on the side of the Royal Army. However, a stray arrow flew into her left arm. She screamed in pain and dropped her shield, for she could no longer use her arm. Yet, still, she continued to fight. She fought and fought until she'd made it to the receiving hall of Great Rock, the battle still raging behind her. She saw Teemone and Pimba, each with their own throne, radiating swag. She apprehensively approached them. When they saw her, they began to laugh hysterically. Teemone said "A woman, fighting on the battlefield? Hakusa Mataya, you stupid cunt." They both pulled out blunts and began to smoke. Baka was appalled by their apparent stupidity. She decided that she would not spare them, even if they were this pitiful. She cautiously walked up to Teemone. He was still laughing. She raised her sword and brought it down, in an effort to kill him. Teemone quickly dodged her blade and pressed on her arrow wound. Baka howled in pain and fell backward. Teemone laughed even more. "You thought you could avenge your precious BDSM lion, you cunt? My swag powers are too strong for that." He began to glow, swag emanating from his brilliant body. Baka used her eyeglass to identify him. His-his power levels. They're increasing! He's getting too strong! His power level! IT'S OVER 9,000! Teemone's fur became a golden blonde, his eyes a light blue. He was now a nazi. Baka thrusted upward with her brilliant sword. Teemone easily dodged the attack and punched Baka in the stomach. Baka fell over, her back facing the ceiling. Teemone grinned wickedly. "Now, I shall claim my right of victory." He began to harden himself and approached Baka from behind. Baka quickly drew her dagger and spun around, cutting off Teemone's dick. Teemone wailed. He was becoming normal again for what is a swag lord without his penis? Baka raised her sword, ready to finish the job. But then, Pimba sat on Teemone killing him instantly. Pimba laughed loudly, for now, all of Great Rock was his to rule alone. "Now, I am the only swag lord. I just need to kill you, Baka." He leaned over and began to charge. He rammed his tusks into Baka, but then, Baka became red silk and flew around Pimba. Pimba was immensely confused. Baka continued to wave the red cape. Pimba charged again and was fooled by the cape. He began to see through Baka's meticulous deception. He charged once more, but this time he turned his tusks to the side and caught Baka in the waist. Baka was in agony and fell over. Pimba could see through the illusion, now, and began to charge. However, just before he reached her, she threw the cape over him. All he could see was Baka. Baka Baka Baka Baka Baka Baka Baka. He ran madly in circles. Baka raised her sword and delivered the finishing blow. Baka was the swag lord, now. Yet, she still heard the roar of battle. How could she stop the Royal Army? Her side was down to 5 baboons, murdering at least 50 aminals each before they gloriously fell in battle. She came up with a plan. She gathered two giant flags and raised them high. On one flag, she had placed Pimba's tusks, while on the other, she had placed Teemone's penis. The Royal Army knew that they had now lost the battle. They surrendered. Baka felt the relief of sweet victory, but, just then, she saw something glinting on the horizon. Something somewhat malevolent. Tune in next time for The Lion Scat 2: Pimp Master's Attack on Great Rock.

Secret after credits scene: The Pimp Master sat on his throne of solid gold, gazing at Great Rock. He smiled, for he knew that it was his. He turned to his warrior. «Ready?» Shia LaBeouf stared murderously.


	3. Chapter 2

The Lion Scat 2: Pimp Master's Attack on Great Rock:

The Pimp Master and Shia LaBeouf approached Great Rock. The Royal Army was disorganized and most of the Angsty Rebellion's soldiers had died. Baka could see The Pimp Master arriving, so she assembled the remnants of the Royal Army and the Angsty Rebellion and gave a speech. "We must band together and stop this usurper here, for if a pimp master becomes a swag lord, he will reach extremely high amounts of power. He would be able to kill all of you and your families, if he wished. That is why we must stop him here." Baka ordered for the trees around Great Rock to be cut down so that a moat could be dug and filled with wooden spikes and a wall could be constructed within the circumference of the moat. Baka also found a rare grade of stone and used that for her secret project. Baka had a bag made of cloth prepared and slung it around her shoulder. She placed all of the soldiers on top of the wall. The Pimp Master's army had finally arrived. The aminals used long, thick wooden boards to reach the wall and cross over the moat. The Royal Angst army picked up the wooden boards and moved them off the wall causing the troops on the boards to fall into the moat. None of the enemy troops were making it onto the wall until the Pimp Master's elite squad, consisting entirely of baboons, attacked. When the aminals tried to move the boards off, the elites would jump over the moat and onto the wall and secure the boards. Baka took up her own sword in an attempt to stop the elites' progression. She ran towards one baboon and it dodged around behind her and began to ferociously stab her in the back. She swung her sword around behind her and slit the baboon's throat. It fell down and began to choke on it's own blood. She'd been wearing chain mail, but, even still, a few stabs had gone through and she was bleeding. She moved onto the next baboon and swung at him. He ducked under her blade and knocked her feet out from beneath her in one swift motion. Before she could get up, the elite was on her back and bringing his blade down. Baka rolled onto her back and caught the blade with both hands. The elite was too strong. Baka watched as the blade slowly went down into her chest, just above the chain mail. She couldn't stop it. But then, a giant spear impaled the baboon's side. The elite died and Baka quickly pulled the blade out of her chest and pulled out the cloth bag. Within was boiling hot tar. She pushed it onto the wound to cauterize it. The tar fused with her skin and closed the wound. The pain was immense. Once Baka could focus again, she looked towards the top of Great Rock. She had secretly constructed a ballista and 5 spears earlier and had assigned a tortoise as the operator. This was clearly a big mistake, seeing as it took so long for the tortoise to fire one spear and reload the ballista. Baka turned her attention to the ravenous screaming. Where the fighting was the thickest, Shia LaBeouf was murdering aminals all around. He killed anything that got close, including troops on his side. The entire area around him was soaked with blood. Baka looked at his white skin, his strange body, and his monstrous, red eyes. She could not determine what species it was. She quickly came up with a plan to destroy him. She ran into his line of sight and sprinted towards the top of Great Rock. He gave chase and pursued her madly on all fours. When Baka reached the top, she ran in front of the ballista. Shia was not fooled by her ruse. He smashed the ballista with his bare hands and tossed the pieces off of Great Rock, killing even more aminals. Shia lunged towards her. Baka quickly picked up a spear and pointed it towards Shia. It went through his shoulder and blood began to pour from the wound. Shia was furious. He slammed Baka into the ground. She felt light-headed and wondered if she had a concussion. Shia grabbed Baka and ripped off her left arm. Blood sprayed from the stump. Baka screamed in pain and Shia LaBeouf howled. Just before he could crush her head, the tortoise ran into Shia. It didn't do hardly anything, for he was too slow. Shia smashed the tortoise in his fury. His sacrifice may not have been in vain, for Baka grabbed onto the spear that was still impaled in Shia's shoulder with her remaining arm and twisted the spear. Shia began to spin around and shake trying to make Baka let go. She held on for as long as she could, but let go after 12 seconds, for she only had one arm. She was flung off of Great Rock and fell to her death. Before she landed on the hard ground, she smiled, for, even though she lost, she could be with Thimba again. Now, she entrusted this world to another. Shia LaBeouf died several minutes later. Baka had coated the tips of the spears in a poison that has the following side effects: foaming at the mouth, violent tendencies, howling and screaming, and red eyes, and, after 10 minutes, death. Since it was Shia LaBeouf, nobody noticed the initial symptoms as anything noteworthy. The battle ended shortly afterwards. It had been an indisputable victory by the Pimp Master. He walked over the many dead,bloodied bodies of the battlefield. He walked up a board, over the moat and onto the wall. He walked down the stairs, off of the wall, and into the receiving room of Great Rock. He slowly sat down into one of the two golden thrones and immediately felt immense power coursing through him. A Pimp Master had become a swag lord. A golden aura appeared around him to represent his strength. «Finally.» He began to laugh.

Secret after credits scene: After Thimba killed Scat, Baka and Thimba had 50 Shades of Furry sex, making Baka pregnant. She had her baby in secret, in order to protect it from Teemone and Pimba. Musafa II.


End file.
